December 31, 2009

Hacked Stop Signs

Some Pretty Clever People Are Out There Defacing Government Property!


500 Days of Summer Dance Sequence

December 27, 2009

Shortarmguy Diary Entry for December 27, 2009



Shortarmguy and the White Christmas
December 27, 2009

Click Here To Read All of this Week's Diary Entry from Shortarmguy

Good Housekeeping


How to Shoot a Bow Like a Girl


Happy Nickmas!!


Winter Driving Sucks


The Christmas Table Cloth

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.


They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.


On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.


On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church.  His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.


The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.


On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity, so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.


By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.  She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.


Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?"


The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.  

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten "The Tablecloth". The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria.  When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave.  Her husband was going to follow her the next week.  He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.


The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church...


The pastor insisted on driving her home. That was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.


What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.


One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.


The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike?


He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years between. 


The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.


He helped the man climb the three flights of Stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.


True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid who says God does work in mysterious ways.

Recession Survival Tip


US Presidency for Dummies


Morgan Freeman Chain of Command


Life After Death

BOSS said to an employee:

"Do you believe in Life after Death?"

EMPLOYEE:

"Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.

BOSS:

"Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."

What a Crazy Christmas 2009









View from the Burj Dubai

This is taken from world's tallest building 'Burj Dubai' @ 2,620 ft / 801m!!!



Look at the edge (uppermost right corner) of the picture, you can almost see the turn of the earth!!!



Dubai Real Estate










Commuter Dogs

Commuting Dogs in Moscow


STRAY dogs are commuting to and from a city centre on underground trains in search of food scraps.
The clever canines board the Tube each morning. After a hard day scavenging and begging on the streets, they hop back on the train and return to the suburbs where they spend the night. Experts studying the dogs say they even work together to make sure they get off at the right stop — after learning to judge the length of time they need to spend on the train. The mutts choose the quietest carriages at the front and back of the train.

They have also developed tactics to hustle humans into giving them more food on the streets of Moscow.

Scientists believe the phenomenon began after the Soviet Union collapsed in the 1990s, and Russia ’s new capitalists moved industrial complexes from the city centre to the suburbs. Dr Andrei Poiarkov, of the Moscow Ecology and Evolution Institute, said: “These complexes were used by homeless dogs as shelters, so the dogs had to move together with their houses. Because the best scavenging for food is in the city centre, the dogs had to learn how to travel on the subway — to get to the centre in the morning, then back home in the evening, just like people.”



Garbage Truck Living











Nice Email of the Week --- December 27, 2009

Hey Shortarmguy!

This is very cool!

If you go to this site:

http://www.letssaythanks.com/

 and pick out a card, Xerox will send it to a soldier currently serving in Iraq.  You can't pick who will get the card, but it will go to a member of the armed services. Whether you were for or against the war its still a nice way to acknowledge the men & women of our military!

Show them we are behind them, and wishing them a fast & safe return home!

Thanks for your time!  Still a big fan!

Craig..aka...Bottled Blues



Merry Christmas And Happy New Year!





BarbieQ


December 26, 2009

Dumb People --- December, 2009

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.


'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'


'That's right.'


So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


(Unbelievable but sadly true...)


TWO

I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.


After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.


Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'


I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'


She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.


She had no clue to what had just happened.


THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.


When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.


She replied, 'I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car... Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'


'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.


'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'


PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.


Brunette, by the way!!

SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'


Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

Quote of the Week --- December 26, 2009

"Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction."

-- Kenichi Ohmae, business coach