The AMA on Obamacare

The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's health care package. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up !" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter". The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

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How is Norma?

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. 


She timidly asked,  "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" 


The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" 


The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." 


The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." 


After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."


The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. Thank you for the good news." 


 The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" 


 The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."

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