A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man, "and whose clock is that?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his life.."
"Where's President Obama's clock?" asked the man.
"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.."
Dodging Humanity at the 2026 Minnesota State Fair
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Dodging Humanity at the 2026 Minnesota State Fair
Todd Swank's Diary Entry for August 30, 2026
Friday night was fantasy football draft night at Steve ...



haha owned!
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