The Bluebird of Happiness



BLUE BIRD OF HAPPINESS, MY ASS!

It's Friggin' Freezing.

There's snow up my ass, all the food's covered with 3 feet of this white shit, and you want ME to sing?

What?? Anne Murray's "Snowbird"? Piss Off!!

Next year, I'm flyin' to Jamaica , and smoke some Weed!!

Doggy Demotivational Posters



Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my shotgun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..

BILL CLINTON: I did NOT cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.  What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me ANY insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road.. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2011, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2011. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Video: Steve Jobs: How to live before you die. 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech

When a male can't stand it anymore!

When a male can't stand it anymore!

Priceless shot!

Blocked Car

So I went to get my car and some dick had me blocked in!

Video: Railroad Crossing in North Dakota!

Report: Intel's Sandy Bridge Recall To Reduce Price Of Lower-End Notebooks

Todd Swank, vice president of marketing at Burnsville, Minn.-based system builder Nor-Tech, said the recall has created a shortage of Nor-Tech systems running on the Sandy Bridge platform, which has already affected the price of those systems -- by making them more expensive, not less.

"We have seen a lot of shortages in our desktop Core i3 and core i5 products, and prices have gone up on those systems," Swank said. "We're guessing that that's because of the Sandy Bridge delay. OEMS are having to buy everything they can among current products, causing shortages. As a result, it's either very hard to get the product, or you have to pay more for it."

Swank said system builders have had to adjust to the unusual situation of facing a shortage in the supply of processors, while they wait for more shipments from Intel.

"We're hearing that products are supposed to start freeing up in March, but at this time we just have to wait to get the product," Swank said. "It's been a while since there's been a CPU shortage like this."

Read Full Article Here:
http://www.crn.com/news/components-peripherals/229218896/report-intels-sandy-bridge-recall-to-reduce-price-of-lower-end-notebooks.htm?pgno=2

Louisiana Traffic Jam

I ain't never seen so many gators in my life!

Email Response to Post: Egyptian Enforcement Wear

Hey, fun pics from Egypt – but they made me think of this article. It was posted by my sister and tells about how the young people organized the revolt via social media…..and INSTRUCTED thru FB, etc. on how to get ready to revolt against the government. Wearing water bottles was one idea mentioned! No buns/baguettes…but I guess ya gotta improvise when you don’t have much.

Anyhow, it’s an interesting read about how social media is bringing about change – not a funny article, but just enlightening…interesting, whatever you want to call it. So thought you might like it, in light of these pictures!

jyll

The article about Egypt:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/14/world/middleeast/14egypt-tunisia-protests.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

My Response:

That is a fascinating article! I'm really encouraged by what is happening in the Middle East. I believe all of these protests are going to lead to a wave of democracy over there. I can't believe all these young people who have access to the Internet now and can now see what's real in the world will want to focus on bringing death and destruction to the west. Instead, they'll want to focus on bringing peace and prosperity to their own countries. Then what a wonderful world it will be!

Thanks!!

Todd Swank

Cheetahs are so Nice

Photographer Michel Denis-Huot, who captured these amazing pictures on safari in Kenya 's Masai Mara in October last year, said he was astounded by what he saw:

"These three brothers (cheetahs) have been living together since they left their mother at about 18 months old,' he said. 'On the morning we saw them, they seemed not to be hungry, walking quickly but stopping sometimes to play together. 'At one point, they met a group of impala who ran away. But one youngster was not quick enough and the brothers caught it easily'."

These extraordinary scenes followed:

and then they just walked away without hurting him..........

May your day be filled with blessings!

Life is short... forgive quickly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably...and never regret anything that made you smile!!

Egyptian Enforcement Wear

Makeshift helmets made by the Egyptians whilst scrapping in their current predicament.

I shall guide you through these pieces of registered non standard army kit:

Your classic 1979 ‘Tribottle rag’ helmet – a must in any type of combat.

A late 80’s ‘boxhat’. The bloke next to him doesn’t appear too sure of its effectiveness

A renaissance period piece of brickwear teamed with a black and cream scarf. Textbook.

Im not sure that tuna sarnie he is about to lob is gonna cause to much destruction.

Old skool 80’s broken bin helmet.

I personally love the fact he needs to lift it up to see –  does he spend the rest of the time walking in to things??

Textbook saucepaning with lifejacket combo. He does not take, ANY!!

I literally have no idea what this is.

And the winner by 100 miles.

This bloke is going to war with 2 baguettes strapped to his ears and a ham salad roll sellotaped to his forehead. I’d def wanna be behind him if someone lobs a load of bricks at me.

Employee of the Month

Employee of the Month

...We have a Winner!

This is the level of dedication we expect from all staff!

There is a reason laptop spelled backwards is "potpal."

Video: Eating at Benihana in Golden Valley, Minnesota

Miss Sheri and I recently celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary by trying out a restaurant we'd never been to before. We loved it!! If you haven't eaten at Benihana before, I'd check it out! That shrimp is to die for...

Just in time for Valentines "I Love You" in 10 Languages

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, you will be able to impress the object of your affection with some caring phrases:

"I LOVE YOU" IN 10 LANGUAGES

English
I Love You

Spanish
Te Amo

French
Je T'aime

German
Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai Shite Imasu

Italian
Ti Amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar Dig

Lithuanian
As Tave Meliu

Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi , Kentucky, North Carolina, West Virginia, Virginia

Nice Tits, Get in the Truck.