May 28, 2012

Crazy Emails for May 28, 2012

Little Life Lessons

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it  cheerfully.  

TWO.  Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational  skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.  Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you  want.

FOUR.  When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE.  When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX.  Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.  Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.  Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE.  Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live  life completely.

TEN..  In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN.  Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE.  Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN.  When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why  do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN.  Remember that great love and great achievements involve great  risk.

FIFTEEN.  Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.  When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN.  Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and  responsibility for all your actions.  

EIGHTEEN.  Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN.  When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct  it.

TWENTY.  Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your  voice.

TWENTY-ONE.  Spend some time alone.

What goes on in the garden when you are not looking

Saudi Land Cruiser Falls Down Hole In The Desert

You'd think that they'd at least put up a flag to let people know there's A 100 mt hole there. 

This happened in Saudi a few days ago. 

 In areas where there is fresh water under ground the locals dig wells And support the sides with concrete and stones to keep the sand from Falling back in to the well. Some of these are up to 100 meters deep. This particular one was 60 meters deep and 4 meters wide, located Outside the small town of Riyadh in the center of Saudi. 

The guys went out in the desert for a bit of 4X4 fun on a Thursday when one of them drove in to the well and dropped 60 meters to the bottom with his V8 Cruiser. Rescue workers retrieved the car and the driver had a mild concussion from hitting his head against the wind screen. Hard to believe he is alive.

May 24, 2012

40 Pound Barracuda Jumps Into Fishing Boat

Great White Shark's Savage Attack Next to Boat in Australia

Hey, Look at that monster attacking something near our boat.  

Let's try to touch it!

Massive great white shark launches frenzied attack next to fishing boat Australian authorities have assured swimmers and surfers at Bondi Beach that lifeguards routinely patrol for sharks after footage surfaced recently, showing a massive great white savagely attacking a smaller blue shark attached to a line alongside a fishing boat (footage begins at the 30-second mark). 

The incident near Sydney occurred several months ago but the footage wasn't posted until this month, and it has stirred emotions about the possibility of such enormous predators lurking so close to shore off Australia's busiest beach. 

 "We share the water with the sharks and there's no getting away from that," a spokesman for the New South Wales Department of Primary Industries and Fisheries told the Herald Sun. "We run regular patrols along the beach and out further through the bay to make sure our swimmers are protected from any threat." 

Henry Minter, one of the fishermen who was aboard the boat, said the encounter took place only 200 meters, or about the shake of a tail, beyond the shore. He estimated the shark's length to be at least 18 feet. 

"We were fishing off the coast of Bondi Beach and were on board a 32-foot powerboat," he said, via email. "Shortly after catching a small blue shark we tied a rope off to it's tail and the large great white appeared obviously attracted by the frenzy of the blue shark. "We were amazed as the shark bit the whole blue shark in half and proceeded to play tug of war with us with the remaining tail half. Never seen anything this big so close to Sydney and has been a real shock to the Sydney fishing and surfing community." 

Experts who viewed the video could not verify it was, in fact, Bondi, but there is little reason to doubt the location, since white sharks are known to frequent that part of the Australian coast. What's incredible is the power and fierce determination of the predator as it tries to devour the blue shark, which was tied tail-first to a thick rope. 

What seems incredibly risky are the actions of the fishermen, who traded turns trying to touch the larger shark's snout. Category: Pets & Animals Tags: Savage shark attack on video Fishermen and surfers are stunned to learn how close the 18-foot was shore. 

May 23, 2012

When You Buy From A Mom And Pop Shop...

A friend posted this on Facebook and I thought it was really powerful!!

May 20, 2012

Golfing at Oak Hills in Clear Lake, Iowa

Occupy Golf Movement


I am a member of golf's lower 99%. I am an indifferent golfer, and there's no way I could ever make it to the professional level. I will never put in the practice time to be the best. I will never have the shots, skills, or mental toughness to "make it" in the sport. I just never felt like working all that hard at it.

However, I am a part of the golfing community and, as such, feel I should be paid by the top 1% of golfers for what I do. It isn't fair that those players who have worked harder, have studied the game, have better equipment and are more skilled and dedicated should make all that BIG money.

Where's my share? I'm a Victim!

The top 1% should pay for my club memberships and green fees and lessons, buy me new clubs, balls, clothes and shoes, and pay me some of their winnings. They can afford it. They are "The Rich." The whole system should be changed to accommodate people like me. I think we should get together and occupy a golf course and demand that those who are better at what they do, pay for us who generally suck. Whining should get us something – maybe we'll make the cover of Time Magazine...and garnish some public sympathy.

Heck, during this election year we may even get a law or two passed by legislators who want our votes.

PS Don't mention this to tennis players. We thought of it first!

Dewalt Nail Gun

A must have in every home in America!

For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house!

In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product  may skyrocket.

Washington thinks they are going to take  away our guns, so check this out.

NAIL GUNS!  AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for  them!

AND, you don't have to worry about them being  CONCEALED!

Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!

Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that  even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for  Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for  it:

Thank you, DeWalt!!!

New Nail Gun, made by DeWalt

It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

This  makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and  build a fence.

Hundred round magazine.   If someone tries to rob your house, just nail his ass!

Two Quarters or a Dollar Bill?

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 

'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.'

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?'

The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar.

'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store and says, 

'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'

The boy licked his cone and replied, 
'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'

This Week's Time Magazine Cover Is Even More Controversial Than Last Week's.

Johnny Carson and Dom Deluise --- The Egg Trick

Johnny Carson was awesome.

May 17, 2012

Guy SpeedPaints Beethoven- America's Got Talent 2012

First America's Got Talent video I've seen this year and I was quite impressed!

I think I'm going to like Howard Stern as a judge.

May 13, 2012

Mother's Day at the Farm

Grizzly in a Toyota

There are no scratches on the outside of this car, but the vehicle is totaled. 

 A man in Waterton, came out to find the inside of his 18 month old Toyota Sequoia trashed. A grizzly bear had somehow got a door open (easy considering the way the handles are) and once inside got trapped when the door shut behind him. Probably by the wind. 

The Toyota was a platinum edition, all the door panels were ripped off, the headliner torn to pieces, all headrests, the leather seats, the dash shredded. The steering column was twisted sideways. Two of the six airbags went off, the other four the bear ripped to pieces.

You can imagine a trapped grizzly being hit with an airbag in an enclosed space! He must have figured he was in for the fight of his life ...and by the looks of this car, he won the fight. When the bear ripped off the door panels he also clawed all the wiring harnesses out. Toyota figures every wire he pulled or clawed at resulted in alarm bells, voices or sparks. The head mechanic at Calgary Toyota doubted if they had the expertise to put this vehicle back together, even if they had enough parts to do it. 

And, to add insult to injury, the bear took a big dump in the back of the SUV ....and then broke out the rear window. 

 Fish and wildlife officers have inspected the damage and figure it was a 3 year old Griz. From blood left behind they are doing DNA. The vehicle has been written off by the insurance company. The cost new was over $70,000, and they stopped counting repair costs at $60,000+.


My Kind Of Train Station

How Do You See The Glass?

New Sign at State Farm

Birds and the Bees

Moist Owlet

Bad Blonde Joke

Two blonds were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.

"I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blond #1.

"Do what?", asked Blond #2.

"Send my lawn out to be mowed."

New Demotivational Posters for May, 2012