January 31, 2010

Shortarmguy Diary Entry for January 31, 2010

Shortarmguy Visits The Minnesota Zoo
January 31, 2010

In The Can

The Flying Lawnmower

Best Bike Ad Ever

(Naughty Content Warning)

Minnesota Vikings Super Bowl T-shirts Now Available

Whale High Five

Why Raincoats are Yellow

Demotes --- January 31, 2010

Pictures in Pictures

I've Learned

I've Learned

that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've Learned

that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've Learned

that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've Learned

that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've Learned

that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I've Learned

that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I've Learned

that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've Learned

that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.

I've Learned

that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've Learned

that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've Learned

that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've Learned

that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've Learned

that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've Learned

that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've Learned

that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've Learned

that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've Learned

that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've Learned

that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've Learned

that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've Learned

that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've Learned

that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've Learned

that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've Learned

that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've Learned

that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've Learned

that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've Learned

that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I've Learned

that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've Learned

that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've Learned

that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I've Learned

that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've Learned

that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've Learned

that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've Learned

that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've Learned

that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've Learned

that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've Learned

that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've Learned

that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I've Learned

that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I've Learned

that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

A New Study on Attractiveness

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

January 30, 2010

Wall Street 2 : Money Never Sleeps Trailer

I want to hang out with Gordon Gecko!!

T Pain Obama Auto-Tune

Inspirational Archer

Shooting a Mathews Bow with No Hands

Dancing Inmates - Michael Jackson's This Is It

Filipino, Philippines "Dancing Inmates" from Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center (CPDRC), a maximum security prison, were treated to a visit by Michael Jacksons long-time choreographer Travis Payne and dancers Daniel Celebre and Dres Reid to learn performances from THIS IS IT.

January 25, 2010

Walmart Clown Commercial

My boys thought this was hilarious...

January 24, 2010

Shortarmguy Diary Entry for January 24, 2010

Shortarmguy and the Minneapolis Boat Show
January 24, 2010

Minneapolis Boat Show 2010

Men Shouldn't Make Sounds Like This

Scary Elevator Rides

Why Men Have Big Toolboxes

Hitler Finds Out the Massachusetts Senate Seat Was Won by a Republican

Wisely Choose The Color of Your Bike Seat

Tiger's New Endorsement Deal

Thought for the Day

Pants on the Ground Explanation

New Airport Security Check In Attire

Governmental Flow Chart

Crazy Emails for January 24, 2010

Barack and Tiger

Sexually Transmitted Disease - SERIOUS

This is not a joke-- it is the most serious risk to your health since the 1918 flu epidemic.

Gonorrhea Lectim

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim..And pronounced "gonna re-elect ‘em."

Many victims contracted it in 2008, after having been screwed for the past two years. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease has become since it is easily cured....by voting out all incumbents!

Thanks to the state of Mass. we've already started.

Why You Gotta Love Farm Kids

When you're from the country ~ you look at things a little differently.....

A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?" the rancher asked.

"No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the rancher, "Is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" the boy asked politely. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded.

"If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."

Amazing Celebrity Homes

John Travolta

Halle Berry


J-Lo and Mark Anthony

Eddie Murphy

Billy Joel

Hugh Hefner

Sylvester Stallone

Tiger Woods

789 Chevy

1957, 1958 & 1959 All Rolled Into One!

This car was built by N2A motors (No Two Alike).

Unbelievable! The company is planning a production run Of about 100 vehicles.

It sits on a Corvette C6 chassis, Front styled like a 57 Chevy, side like a 58, rear like a 59.

Hence the designation "789".

Is this a hot looking car, or What?

You probably need to be at least 55 yrs old to really appreciate this!!!

January 18, 2010

Just How Cold is it?

This illustrates how cold it is around here.

or he just isn't gettin any!

A Short Story about a Moose

There once was a moose in Utah and it fell into a crack. The End.