November 28, 2009

Quote of the Week --- November 28, 2009

“The distance between you and your dreams is often the length of a single idea.”
– Vic Conant, executive

The Law of Physics

Todd -- I normally would not send you this type of material, but this is just one that had to be shared. I promise not to send you political stuff - you are probably inundated with it like I am......but this one was just too much! Had to share it. '' (And they want to run the health care program? I think we are in for it if they get it through.)

Your Fla. friend, Shirley

The Amazing Tim Tebow Grip Master Training System!!

Florida's Tim Tebow was awarded the Heisman Trophy as a sophomore, the first time ever the award has gone to a second year player.

In addition to his amazing passing, running and TD status is the fact that he has NEVER fumbled the ball!

How is he able to hold on to the football so well?

What grip does he use??

Tim's grip training technique was inspired from his girlfriend, of 2 years, Amber.

"I really have to say, with her help and training support I have been able to strengthen my grip, with either hand, even if I barely have any piece of the ball in my hand"

Note the grip on the football shown here!

"But I feel that I can still improve my game if I stick with  Amber's training method just one more year"

Introducing The Amazing Tim Tebow Grip Master Training System!!!

Any questions ????

Ralph and Edna

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry...How soon can I go home?'

Happy Mental Health Day!

Walking Eagle

The Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.

They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

Kid's Letters To God

Dear God,

Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter.

There is nothing good in there now.



Dear God,

Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy.

I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.



Dear Mr. God,

I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart.

I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.



Dear God,

If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton - because I hate her.



Dear God,

It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway.

Your friend

(I am not going to tell you who I am).


Dear God,

I read the Bible. What does begat mean?

Nobody will tell me.

Love, Alison


Dear God,

How did you know you were God?



Dear God,

Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?



Dear God,

I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world.

There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.



Dear God:

Did you really mean Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You,

because if you did then I'm going to fix my brother.



Dear God,

I like the story about Chanuka the best of all of them.

You really made up some good ones.



Dear God,

My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy.

How far back do you go?

Love, Dennis


Dear God,

Who draws the lines around the countries?



Dear God,

It's o.k. that you made different religions but don't you get mixed up sometimes?



Dear God,

Did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?



Dear God,

In Bible times did they really talk that fancy?



Dear God,

What does it mean you are a jealous God?

I thought you had everything.



Dear God,

How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?



Dear God,

Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year.



Dear God,

Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms.

It works with my brother.



Dear God,

I keep waiting for spring but it never did come yet.

Don't forget.



Dear God,

You don't have to worry about me.

I always look both ways.



Dear God,

My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right.



Dear God,

If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.

Mickey D.


Dear God,

Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through business?



Dear God,

In Sunday School they told us what you do.

Who does it when you are on Vacation?



Dear God,

We read Thomas Edison made light.

But in Sunday School they said you did it.

So I bet he stoled your Idea.




Dear God,

I do not think anybody could be a better God.

Well, I just want you to know but I am not just saying that because you are God and I`m Not sucking up!



Dear God,

It is great the way you always get the Stars in the right places.



Dear God,

I am doing the best I can.



Dear God,

I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.

That was Cool.



Dear God,

I thank my Lucky Stars everyday there is you....Nobody listens to me here!

Love, Judy

Best Picture of Colin Powell You'll See Today

Twilight Moms

Island of the Dolls In Mexico - The Most Creepy Place in the world

Horn Blasters

November 25, 2009

How to Make New Friends

How to Make New Friends

     1. When people talk to me, I will do the following:

          a. I will stop whatever I’m doing and give that person my full concentration.

              i. I will look that person in the eyes at all times.

             ii. I will smile at them.

            iii. I will listen closely to whatever they say

            iv. I will respond as kindly as I am able

             v. I will ask that person questions about themselves or about whatever they’re talking to me about

          b. I want that person to feel like they are the most important person in the world.

     2. If people aren’t talking to me, I will seek out others that aren’t being talked to either. These people will appreciate my kindness and hopefully should respond with kindness as well.

          a. I will give that person my full concentration.

               i. I will look that person in the eyes at all times.

              ii. I will smile at them.

             iii. I will ask that person questions about themselves or about whatever they’re talking to me about

             iv. I will listen closely to whatever they say

             v. I will respond as kindly as I am able

         b. I want that person to feel like they are the most important person in the world.

Do this every day and eventually I will make a whole bunch of new friends!

November 23, 2009

Devin Hester Shows His Butt on National TV!

Top 10 Country Songs

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day

November 22, 2009

Shortarmguy Diary Entry for November 22, 2009

November 22, 2009

Shortarmguy at Burnsville Mall

Big Bird Meets Michelle Obama

Parking Lot Fun

Cool Bedspreads


Crazy Emails for November 22, 2009


How Pumpkin Pie is Made Take 2

Quote of the Week --- November 22, 2009

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.
- Richard David Bach

Penguin Facts

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

Wonder no more!!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. 

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in  the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. 

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: 

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

Then they kick him in the ice hole!!!

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?

Brett Favre is just a big kid!

God's Food Clues

It's been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish... All before making a human. He made and provided what we'd need before we were born. These are best & more powerful when eaten raw. We're such slow learners...

God left us a great clue as to what foods help what part of our body!

God's Pharmacy! Amazing!

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

 Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them). 

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries

Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body's cells.. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

November 21, 2009

3rd Grade Photo in Green Bay, Wisconsin

F My Life

Why it's fun to work at the Microsoft Store

Deer Hunting Game

Nice Email of the Week --- November 20, 2009

Hi Todd,

I just wanted to say thanks and I really enjoy your website. I've been a fan for several years and look forward to your updates. I've enjoyed watching your family go on all of your adventures. Thank you once again for taking the time to do your website, it really is a blessing to people :)

November 20, 2009

Microsoft Partners Yawn In Chrome's General Direction

"Personally, I think it's just a lot of talk right now," said Todd Swank, vice president of marketing at Nor-Tech, a Burnsville, Minn.-based system builder. "Windows 7 has been such a successful launch that Google is probably just trying to steal some of its thunder by talking about Chrome OS."

Link to Article:;jsessionid=UZGB1ABNY1PGNQE1GHRSKH4ATMY32JVN?queryText=swank

Ballmer Says Windows 7 Sales Booming

Windows 7 has already captured the attention of customers that have been sitting on the sidelines by sticking with Windows XP. "All our customers who stayed away from Vista are now asking us about Windows 7," said Todd Swank, vice president of marketing at Nor-Tech, a Burnsville, Minn.-based system builder.

Link To Article:;jsessionid=UZGB1ABNY1PGNQE1GHRSKH4ATMY32JVN

November 15, 2009

Shortarmguy Diary Entry for November 15, 2009

November 15, 2009

Shortarmguy and Friends at The Cedar Bridge in Winterset, Iowa