June 29, 2011

A Plea for Help from Joplin, Missouri...

I just received this message from a friend on Facebook:

Todd, I have followed your page for years and know you have a nation wide fan base. Hoping you would call out to them and ask for their help. I am a Joplin base resident, after the recent tornado, our town can use help continuing the years of work ahead of us to keep us moving forward. Any and all volunteers are welcomed. Now that the cameras are gone, the work continues.

I found this page on Facebook for people to go to find ways to help:

Brenda, we'll keep you, your family, your friends, and your neighbors in Joplin in our prayers!!

June 26, 2011

The Zitzewitz Family's New Boat

The Zitzewitz Family's New Boat
Shortarmguy's Diary Update for June 26, 2011

On Saturday night, Grandma Linda dragged me to Mystic Lake Casino to see one of her favorite late night performers, Bill Maher.   He's not one of my favorite performers, but I was really intrigued to see what his show would be like.

I really enjoyed the show, even if I don't agree with a lot of his points.  His performance was extremely impressive.  He was quite topical and went for nearly two hours.  The audience roared with approval at about everything he said.  But if you're a religious person or fan of Fox News or agree with pretty much any Republican, you probably wouldn't have liked him that much at all.

On Sunday, we had the honor of joining our friends, The Zitzewitz Family, on the St. Croix River for a ride on their new boat.  We were so excited for the opportunity!

Karl and I have been to a couple of boat shows together and have shared boating stories for years, so I knew it was a big dream of his to get a boat like this.  I just never imagined that he and Tina would actually invite us for a ride on it once they got it!  I honestly thought we'd never see them again!

Lucky for me, I think they like Miss Sheri.  Otherwise, there's a good chance I'd have been left behind on the dock.
Before we were able to get going too far, Karl told me we had to stop by the Marina for a "Pump-Out".  I wasn't sure what that was, but quickly learned it had something to do with the toilets.  I half expected us to pull up to the dock and see Randy Quaid standing at the end of it with a Hose asking us the Question "Shitter's Full?" but instead it was this nice young lady.  She did a great job!!  I only saw a few chunks hit her during the 5 minute "Pump Out" so that seemed pretty good to me!
Once we were out on the river, the kids started having a really good time.  I only had a couple panic attacks while they wandered around the bow of the boat, but nobody fell overboard so it ended up being a great day!
The nice thing about the river is that when the kids start acting up, we can literally put them on an island.  Apparently it's illegal to actually leave them there, but we're learning how to maximize the time without actually getting in trouble with the law.
When the island starts losing it's effectiveness, we send them off on a rubber kayak and challenge them to make their way back to the boat.    They didn't have much luck with all three of them paddling, but once Luke had the other boys get out and push, they started making some pretty good progress.
On the way back from our day of boating, we ran into one of my good customers, Ameet Shah, who was out for a ride on his beautiful boat.  Not literally ran into him, but it was actually pretty close.  Luckily, he hit the gas and we avoided a collision.  

It was a great day of boating, but not perfect.  Tina spent a lot of the day trying to convince her "Pet Frog" that it was time that he finally leave the nest and swim away to start a family of its own.  But try as she might, the dang thing just wouldn't move.   

Crazy Emails for June 26, 2011

I have a question...

Nagasaki 1945, after the atomic bomb

Nagasaki 2011, following earthquake and tsunami

What the hell is that arch made of?

Interesting Trivia

Some Really Interesting Trivia

If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.

To make half a kilo of honey, bees must collect nectar from over 2 million individual flowers.

Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by 'Bayer'.

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!

People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport.

Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

Astronauts can't belch - there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

Ancient Roman, Chinese and German societies often used urine as mouthwash.

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. In the Renaissance era, it was fashion to shave them off!

Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.

The night of January 20 is "Saint Agnes's Eve", which is regarded as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.

Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.

Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.

Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.

Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.

The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.

Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.

Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450

Conclusive Evidence

There is now conclusive evidence that
Osama Bin Laden is DEAD.

Last week he registered to vote in Chicago!

People of Walmart - Music Video

Succinct Office Communications

Really? I didn't notice...

Check Your Price Tag

If you're not being treated with love & respect, check your "price tag.". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's you who tells people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the "clearance rack" & get behind the glass where they keep all the "valuables"

June 25, 2011

Best Vasectomy Promotion Ever

New Band

My friend, David Bollig, started his own band.

It is called 999 megs.

They are still hoping for their first gig.

June 23, 2011

Article: Micro Servers Set for Increased Sales

“The smaller and more consolidated the hardware, the more likely it is that many vendors can and will produce it more cheaply overseas,” says Todd Swank, vice president of marketing for Burnsville, Minn.-based custom server maker Northern Computer Technologies (Nor-Tech). “There’s not a lot of room for margin anymore for strict hardware resellers at the entry level. As a system builder or reseller, you have to be able to add value on top of the hardware.”

Read Full Article Here:

June 21, 2011

Country Preacher

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.  Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.  One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.  He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.

1.  A Bible... ?              
2.  A silver dollar... ?    
3. A bottle of whisky... ? 
4. And a Playboy magazine... ?

'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself.  'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.  Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.  He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.  He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered...

'He's gonna run for Congress.'

June 19, 2011

Krazy Kory Looks Good on a Knee-board

Krazy Kory Looks Good on a Knee-board
Shortarmguy's Diary Update for June 19, 2011
We had an emotional week.  On Wednesday, we had our final cardiologist appointment with Dr. Singh.  After a long and successful career at Children's Heart Clinic in Minneapolis, he will be retiring this fall and we sure are going to miss him.  He's been with our family since the boys were still in Miss Sheri's belly.  He's guided us through some very scary and stressful times and we owe the world to him.  Thank you Dr. Singh for everything you've done for our family!
On Wednesday night, we joined our local electric company for their annual meeting and picnic.  We sure do love free chicken dinners!
I always look forward to these events because they also have activities like this Gladiator Ring.  It's so rare that I have the chance to beat on my kids in public, so I really like to make the best of these moments.
The boys also took advantage of the opportunity to legally beat on one another.  Luke thought it was pretty funny until Avery hit a home run with his head!
We thought it was going to be a pretty boring weekend so we talked Krazy Kory into driving up with Young Ben.  It looks like this may be the last we see of Kory for some time since he's moving to Estes Park, Colorado to start managing a new hotel.  We're going to miss him, but the place he's taking over looks incredible!  Check out their website here.
We planned on going boating all day, but Mother Nature wasn't cooperating.  Since the boys were getting rained on anyways, Kory thought he'd help them get even more wet with a rousing game of King of the Raft.
Saturday night, we finally said "Let the Rain Be Damned" and we took out the boat.  We just had to do it because as this post is titled "Krazy Kory looks good on a Knee-Board!"
Ben had never been on a knee-board before, but he was very eager to learn.  I think he really enjoyed it, but he did say he got sick of catching all those mosquitoes in his mouth.
We noticed the skies were getting blacker with clouds, but decided to let the boys go on the tube for awhile before we put the boat away.  Avery had fun, but Luke swore a storm was going to hit us any second.
On Sunday, we celebrated Father's Day with Grandma Linda at my favorite restaurant, The Outback.   MMMM, steak and lobster for only $14.99!  Tough to beat that!

Happy Father's Day, Everyone!

Why it rains more in Mexico than the Middle East...