December 30, 2011
December 29, 2011
A Christmas Story
A married couple had been out shopping at the mall most of the afternoon, when suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared."
Irate, she called her husband's cell and demanded "where the hell are
you ?"
"Darling, remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it; and remember that I didn't have the money at the time and said;
'Baby it'll be yours one day."
Somewhat embarrassed and with a blushing smile, she replied
"Yes. I remember that my love."
"Well, I'm in the bar next to that store."
December 26, 2011
Merry Christmas 2011
Merry Christmas 2011
Shortarmguy's Diary Update for December 26, 2011
Grandma Linda wasn't going to be with us for Christmas this year, so we had her over for dinner on the Sunday before. Dang, them was some good Sweet Potatoes!
We went to the farm for Christmas this year and Grandma Haack was Dang Glad to see us!
Sunny was Dang Happy it was Christmas also. That dog gets more gifts than any of us!
Miss Sheri and I don't always do very good at exchanging gifts with one another. I guess I figure that every day she gets to be with me is like a special present to her from God. I'm sure she feels the dang same.
Christmas isn't Christmas without a little Take and Bake Pizza from Papa Murphy's. Grandma Haack used to do this a lot when she was a little girl and so we try to follow that dang tradition as well.
The boys and I were completely filled with Christmas Spirit while we waited for our dang pizzas to be ready!
There's a new casino in Northwest Iowa called Grand Falls Casino! Now I can lose a bunch of dang money while I'm down there as well!
The unseasonably warm weather allowed us to go for an afternoon cruise on the 4 Wheelers. Normally this time of year we're on the snowmobiles, but I Dang sure ain't complaining!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Embarrassing Office Party Photo
It's that horrifying moment...
...when you realize that your friend's arm makes you look naked in the office party photo.
December 23, 2011
December 22, 2011
AMD's Read Feeling No Pressure From Hard Drive Shortage
Todd Swank, vice president of marketing at Nor-Tech, a Burnsville, Minn.-based
solution provider, isn’t entirely convinced of AMD’s expressed immunity to the
shortage.
“I think it’s an odd thing to say,” Swank told CRN. “When Intel came out with their shortfall… that just goes to show that there is going to be a shortage of system sales in general, and I can’t say that AMD is dominating in any category over Intel.”
“I think it’s an odd thing to say,” Swank told CRN. “When Intel came out with their shortfall… that just goes to show that there is going to be a shortage of system sales in general, and I can’t say that AMD is dominating in any category over Intel.”
December 21, 2011
Goose on a Crane
We were at Children's Hospital in Downtown Minneapolis when we discovered this Goose on a Crane.
December 19, 2011
December 18, 2011
Prior Lake Middle School Robotics Competition 2011
Prior Lake Middle School Robotics Competition 2011
Shortarmguy's Diary Update for December 18, 2011
On Sunday night, we went to the Outback to celebrate Grandma Linda's birthday. Poor thing is getting so old that can she can no longer sit up at the table by herself. Luckily her boobs still have enough grip to keep her braced up against the table, so at least she has that going for her.
On Monday, I chaperoned the boy's Ski Club at Buck Hill in Burnsville, Minnesota. It was unseasonably warm at about 40 degrees, but they've been making snow so the ski conditions were still quite decent. Made for a pretty fun night of skiing. Even if I was surrounded by pre-teens all night.
On Wednesday night, I went to the Minnesota Wild game with my co-worker, Steve "Cuds" Cuddihy. Because if there's anyone I really like going Wild with, It's Steve "Cuds" Cuddihy.
The Wild have had a great start to the season and were leading the NHL in points the night of the game. The team they were playing, the Chicago Black Hawks, were in second place. The game was an epic battle and the Wild tied the score with less than 5 minutes to play. The teams then went into overtime and finally a shootout to settle things. Unfortunately for the home team, the Black Hawks smoked them pretty quickly in the Shootout, but it was a great game none the less.
The rest of the week was pretty much spent on final preparations for the 2011 Prior Lake Middle School Robotics Competition. 16 teams spent 9 weeks building, programming, and testing their robots to compete in the squared circle at Prior Lake High School. The competition was exhilarating.
The competition was sponsored by the high school team, King Tec. Their team has won numerous awards and competed recently in the World First Championship. They sponsored the competition which gives Prior Lake one of the only middle school robotics programs in the state of Minnesota.
Joe Passofaro is the parent volunteer who has given countless hours in to building an incredible program that emphasizes themes like Gracious Professionalism and honors teams that help others rather than just ruthlessly trying to win. He continually stressed that the victory is in the experience and the education gained from the process rather than just being about the team with the higher score at the end of the tournament. He and the high school team created such an incredible program, I can honestly say that it was my favorite educational experience I've been involved with as a parent.
Way to go, Joe!!
Of course, Joe didn't do it all by himself. His incredible wife, April Passofaro, was with him every step of the way, busily working behind the scenes to make sure the program was flowing like it should and that the participants all had the parts that they needed.
What a neat couple!
There were 16 teams in the matches and they all had clever names and cool T shirts. The Bots in Black were one of my favorites along with the Angry Nerds.
The tournament was an all day affair with 28 preliminary rounds. Luke and Avery were part of Team # 4 aka Real Steel and competed in 7 of the opening matches. There were four robots on the field during each match which created a lot of chaos for their mechanical players.
The matches consisted of a 30 second "Autonomous" period where the robots had to perform based purely on what had been programmed into their brains and then followed by a 2 minute tele-operation where the team members controlled the robot with what looks like an XBOX style joystick. There were several ways to score including carrying the comets (orange footballs) to the alliance side of the field or into the high goal. Possession of the large yellow sun ball also counted for a whopping 25 points so it was important to keep an eye on this thing as well.
The matches were fast paced and quite exciting. With 4 robots and balls flying everywhere, it was sometimes hard to keep track of who was winning, but cheering loudly always seemed to help regardless of what was happening on the field.
Parental involvement during the competition could be grounds for disqualification, so our team parents decided to watch most of the matches high above the field. They may look calm in this picture, but we were all chewing our fingernails pretty much throughout the entire day!
All that stressing out seems to have paid off, because our team made it to the finals! They selected team 12 to be their alliance partner because they had an incredibly unique robot that could actually throw the footballs to the other side of the field without rolling anywhere! There were balls flying all over the place!!
Although our alliance didn't win the final round of the tournament, we were lucky enough to win the coveted Chairman's Award!
I just can't tell you enough how proud we are of our team. They worked so hard the past 9 weeks to make their robot work and in the end, their efforts really paid off for all of them.
Here's a short video I made featuring the clip where they won the award:
Minnesota Bank Robbery
A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moments hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled,
"Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly to afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole' from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand and said,
"My wife got a pretty good look at you."
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled,
"Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly to afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole' from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand and said,
"My wife got a pretty good look at you."
A Short Story for Engineers
A toothpaste factory
had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside.
This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with
experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to
have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out
of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which
can’t be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality
assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the
way down to the supermarket don’t get pissed off and buy another product
instead.
Understanding how
important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the
company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would
hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as
their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra
effort.
The project followed the
usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties
selected, and six months (and $8
million) later they had a fantastic solution — on time, on budget, high
quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem
by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights
whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop,
and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing
another button when done to re-start the line.
A while later, the CEO
decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty
boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very
few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. “That’s some money
well spent!” – he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the
report.
It turns out, the
number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production
use. It should have been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was
something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some
investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct.
The scales really weren't picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to
that point in the conveyor belt were good.
Puzzled, the CEO
travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the
precision scales were installed.
A few feet before the
scale, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes off of the belt and
into a bin.
“Oh, that,” says one
of the workers — “one of the guys put it there ’cause he was tired of walking
over ….. “ every time the bell rang”.
December 16, 2011
Swank Family Christmas Letter 2011
Happy Holiday in Winter!!!
Our kids are no longer allowed to say the word Christmas in school, so we’re not going to say it in our Christmas letter either. We sure don’t want them to get suspended or anything.
So we always like to use our Christmas letter as a way to reflect on our lives over the past year and to celebrate all the gifts we’ve been given during that time. But to do this without making people throw up in their mouths a little can be quite challenging. But we’re forced to do our best so here goes.
Our goal for 2012 is to stay married. Things always get a little precarious in our relationship after Todd shows Sheri what our Christmas Letter says.
We hope you all achieve your dreams in 2012!
The Swank Family
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