August 29, 2010

Shortarmguy Diary Update for 8/29/10 --- I Rocked My 2010 Fantasy Football Draft Night!!!

Shortarmguy Diary Update for August 29, 2010

Fantasy Football Draft Night 2010

On Thursday night, I went to see the movie The Expendables with my co-worker, Sean.  I went in to the movie with pretty low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised.  Although it was filled with gratuitous violence, the characters were quite engaging, the plotline was fun and fast paced, and the action scenes were well shot and quite innovative!  Overall, I give it One Big Thumb Up! 

Check out the trailer here:

When I go to the movies with my friends, Miss Sheri likes to stay home and build really big fires.  I'm hoping that doesn't mean anything.

At Nor-Tech, we sell a product called Geowall which is a really cool 3D Visualization System.  It's so awesome!  My boss, Dr. Bollig, can be seen here enjoying a demo of it with his family.  You can read more details about it on Nor-Tech's website here:

Then you could call me at Nor-Tech and buy one for yourself! 

And we'll both be happy!

On Friday, Dr. Bollig and I had lunch with an old friend from Globelle, Luann Monahan.  I'd love to tell you what we talked about, but it's a little bit too raunchy for a family website like this one!

Grandma Linda didn't have the greatest of weeks since she had to go have a surgery and spend Friday night in the hospital.  But she's well on her road to recovery and will be back to her old shenanigans in no time!  Watch out, Minnesota!

On Friday night, it was Fantasy Football Draft Night at Steve "Cuds" Cuddihy's House!  We were all revved up and ready to go!

Auctioneer Curtis did a great job at keeping everyone in line and  moving the draft picks forward in an efficient manner.  It may not sound that challenging, but wrangling coherent speech for more than 4 hours from 12 drunk guys who all think they're NFL Geniuses is just a little bit tough. 

Steve "Cuds" Cuddihy is an incredible Fantasy Football Commissioner and throws an awesome draft night that doesn't miss a trick.  The only problem with the guy is that he tends to fart a lot.  It gets a bit hard to sit close to him after awhile.

Donte came to the draft night to provide a little bit of muscle in case any of the team owners got too out of control.  I don't know what it is, but whenever I'm around guys that can literally break me in two pieces, I have this overwhelming urge to rub them on their belly.  I'm very lucky that this habit of mine hasn't killed me yet.

All in all, I was pretty pleased with my draft results. 

Here's the players I got:

McNabb, Donovan WAS QB

Sanchez, Mark NYJ QB

Foster, Arian HOU RB

Grant, Ryan GBP RB

Mathews, Ryan SDC RB

Westbrook, Brian SFO RB

Boldin, Anquan BAL WR

Edwards, Braylon NYJ WR

Galloway, Joey WAS WR

Houshmandzadeh, T.J. SEA WR

Jackson, Vincent SDC WR

Rice, Sidney MIN WR

Gonzalez, Tony ATL TE

Bironas, Rob TEN PK

Vikings, Minnesota MIN Def

Pretty dominant, I know! 

I'll see all you guys at this year's Super Bowl!!! 

Have a great week, everyone!

A couple of nice emails from ladies in Germany

Hey, I'm a german girl, 21 and I just saw you on Miami ink!!!

It's so awesome how u are managing your life!

Not giving up in every situation.

You are an inspiring example!

Take care



have you seen today at DMAX, where did you get tattooed you.

The tattoo looks really good.

Find it really great how you deal with your fate you.

Wish everybody could have as much positive energy as you

greetings from Germany by Jenny futselaar

Please sing in tune!

How to Inflate a Tire with WD-40

Crazy Emails for August 29, 2010

$2 Deluxe Hugs

Coconut Crabs

How would you like to find this on the side of your trash can? (or anywhere?) - They're becoming a bit of a nuisance around Northern Queensland beach suburbs where there are tidal lagoons.

Coconut Crab (Birgus latro) is the largest terrestrial arthropod in the world. It is known for its ability to crack coconuts with its strong pincers in order to eat the contents. It is sometimes called the robber crab because some coconut crabs are rumored to steal shiny items such as pots and silverware from houses and tents. The second photo gives you a good idea of how large these crabs are - a coconut crab is seeking food from a black trashcan.

The coconut crab is a large edible land crab related to the hermit crab, and are found in the tropical Indian and Pacific Oceans . They eat coconuts for a living! How would you like to be on an island and come across a crab that is more than 3 feet from head to tail and weighs up to 40 pounds, with a pair of large pincers strong enough to open coconuts! They are also found around the Christmas Island immigrant detention centre - so please forward to any prospective "visitors".

As people trying to move them on have found they can easily bite through a wooden broomstick handle.

They can climb trees too, but they only eat coconuts that have already fallen to the ground.

Coconut crab meat has been considered a local delicacy.

And you said that you're afraid of spiders?

Labor Day 2010 Cartoons

Demotivational Posters for August 29, 2010

Nancy Pelosi Urinal Cakes

We must apologize; your shipment is back ordered.

We simply cannot keep up with the demand, a very popular item…

The Jesus Rap --- Tamara Lowe at Christ Fellowship

August 28, 2010

Phoenix Suns and New Arizona Immigration Law

When it’s put this way anybody should be able to figure it out.

AZ Phoenix Suns

This response is after Arizona's own Phoenix Suns (professional basketball team of the NBA) were protesting the new law in AZ: much has been said against AZ's move to do the Federal Government's job.

The following was sent by a friend and pokes fun at the Suns. To see where it came from, you'll understand when you see the last line.

"What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of people were sneaking into games without paying ?  What if they had a good idea who the gate crashers are, but the ushers and security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to produce their ticket stubs, thus non-paying attendees couldn't be ejected.  Furthermore, what if Suns' ownership was expected to provide those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and drink? And what if, on those days when a gate-crasher became ill or injured, the Suns had to provide free medical care and shelter?"

posted by: Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer on FaceBook.

I am REALLY beginning to like that AZ Governor!!

And then God created Wisconsin

And then, God created Wisconsin ...

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Wisconsin! , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers and streams, lakes, forests, and hills. The people from Wisconsin are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things. Champions shall come from here!"

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "I will create Minnesota , wait till you see the clowns I put there. They will field a football team to provide entertainment, they will wear purple and play in a domed stadium."

Michael inquisitively asked, "Why a domed stadium?"

God chuckled and said, "You see Michael,...even I don't want to watch them play football...."

A Nice Email from Adam from Australia

Hello, my name is Adam, I'm a 21year old Australian bloke.

I saw you on Miami ink just now and your attitude is so positive and inspiring.

I guess I just wanted to say thankyou for making me smile today.

Don't change.

Top 10 Biggest and Best Jumps Ever

no arms no legs

From Uncle Cliff:

You may have seen this guy before but I dare you to watch it and not cry. I love stuff like this! It makes me feel so lame for ever feeling sorry for myself or my situation. Check it out!

Where do you stand politically?


So, you think you know where you stand, politically. Think again. The result from this short test may surprise you and give you some food for thought. You'll be asked just 10 questions, and then it instantly tells you where you stand politically. It shows your position as a red dot on a "political map" so you'll see exactly where you score.

The most interesting thing about the Quiz is that it goes beyond the Democrat, Republican, and Independent. The Quiz has gotten a lot of praise. The Washington Post said it has "gained respect as a valid measure of a person's political leanings." The Fraser Institute said it's "a fast, fun, and accurate assessment of a person's overall political views." Suite University said it is the "most concise and accurate political quiz out there." To Take The Quiz Click on the link below...

August 26, 2010

August 25, 2010

You on DMAX-Miami Ink

Hi Todd,

only 20 minutes ago I have seen you on TV, where you have got your tattoo. It is a great tattoo, I would like to have an tattoo, too, most of all done from Miami Ink. But I still don’t have any idea what motive I should take.

But that is secondary.

I have seen you and you called your URL. Immediately I took a look in www and I visited your website.

It’s a great homepage and I just wanted to let you know, that I enjoyed my visit here very much.

I wish you all the best and send you kind regards from Germany.

God bless you. Stay healthy.

With kind regards

Joachim Schick
47574 Goch

Pee Wee Herman Goes To Sturgis

August 22, 2010

Funday at the Zitzewitz place on the St. Croix River!

On Sunday, our good friends, Karl and Tina Zitzewitz, invited us to the St. Croix River for a day of fun in the sun!

Miss Sheri made sure to keep us all extra lubed up with the sun screen!

For the rest of the day, we had fun on the Sea Doo Jet Ski!!

Sea Doo Jet Ski Fly By Starring Karl Z

Judy's Pool is like a Hidden Paradise!

Shortarmguy Diary Update for August 21, 2010
Judy's Pool is like a Hidden Paradise!

This is Judy and Sonya.  Sonya is my co-worker's wife and Judy is her sister.  Judy has an incredible house with a backyard just like that of the Garden of Eden!  They were nice enough to invite us over for an afternoon of swimming on Saturday afternoon.  After 4 hours with the Swank Family, I'm sure they regretted their decision!

This is my old pal, Bob.  We've worked together for about 15 years now.  How he was lucky enough to land a woman like Sonya, I'll never know!

We tried to get a nice picture of Bob and Sonya together, but Avery insisted it looked better with him in it.

Another co-worker of mine, Sean, was there with his wife, Anne.  They were mainly there just to out-cute the rest of us.

We were all a little frightened at first to go swimming, but I took care of that by wrestling the large shark that inhabited the pool. 

After I was through with him, though, that sucker was tame enough for us to take turns riding him!  Call me the Shark Whisperer!

Avery was quite happy to be able to swim with such a colorful raft.  I'm not sure why.

Luke liked swimming for awhile, but found much more happiness chasing frogs.  And more happiness beyond that by releasing them in the pool where the rest of us were swimming!