February 28, 2010

Shortarmguy Diary Entry for February 28, 2010


Competing with the Cloud

A major benefit of cloud computing, according to its proponents, is that it reduces the amount of computer hardware and IT infrastructure companies need to run their businesses. So you would think that cloud computing would be bad news for custom system builders who make their living assembling computer hardware for their customers.

"It's a complete reversal from the traditional custom system builder approach," said Todd Swank, marketing vice president at Nor-Tech, a Burnsville, Minn.-based custom system builder. "We start with the hardware sale and the cloud is all about not having hardware."

"We're trying to figure out how this affects our hardware sales," agreed Joe Toste, sales and marketing vice president at Equus Computer Systems, a Minneapolis-based custom system builder.

But while the growing adoption of cloud computing could spell trouble for custom system builders, Swank is convinced there's a golden opportunity in them thar cloud systems. "It's going to be the wave of the future and how we make money on it is the question I'm trying to figure out," he said.

Read Full Article Here:
http://www.crn.com/managed-services/223100587;jsessionid=RDNEPPL0IRRW3QE1GHPSKH4ATMY32JVN?pgno=1

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.


Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the local health club.Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.


I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


MONDAY:


Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!


Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!


Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!


TUESDAY:


I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me..


WEDNESDAY:


The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.  Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.  My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too..


THURSDAY:


Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.  He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.  Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.


FRIDAY:


I hate that Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.  Christo wanted me to work on my triceps.. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.  The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?


SATURDAY:


Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel...


SUNDAY:


I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Off The Clock -- Are The GHz Wars Over?

That's knocking on the door of 4GHz, but Nor-Tech's Todd Swank thinks the milestone won't much matter to the general public when it arrives.

"I think the 4GHz barrier is an exciting milestone to cross and will be followed by those of us in the industry, but I don't think it will generate nearly as much interest by the general population as when Intel and AMD both battled to surpass the 1Ghz mark," he said.

Swank, vice president of marketing at Burnsville, Minn.-based system builder Nor-Tech, said clock speed is just one of many considerations his customers have.

"It's amazing what's happened with clock speed. It used to be what everyone asked for when buying systems, but now there are just so many other variables to consider," he said. "Nowadays, when customers are giving us specifications, we're just as likely to see any of the following requests instead -- processor brand, model number, core count, onboard cache or features like Intel Turbo Boost."

Read Full Article Here:
http://www.crn.com/white-box/223100257;jsessionid=XUFD0NZQOSNYHQE1GHOSKH4ATMY32JVN

Avatarize Yourself!



February 27, 2010

Hairpin Turns


Message to HP Support

Mad TV John Madden Popcorn Popper


Car Hit and Flipped By Wrecking-Ball in NYC!

Dodge minivan that entered a closed construction zone in Manhattan was accidentally hit and flipped over by the wrecking ball as onlookers watch in horror and ran for cover.

Driver escaped with minor injuries.


My Retirement Boat. Anyone Want to Come for a Cruise?

A famous French shipbuilder ship company and one of Monaco joined hands together to build this yacht with enormous dimensions: the WHY 58x38. (58meter long and 38 meter wide) After the first pictures of this project.


The yacht, an area of 3400 m2 with seating for 12 passengers and 20 crew.  This is a "green" yacht.

Wally et Hermès use green energy to 20 to 30% fuel savings and 40 to 50% electricity consumption on board. Therefore there are 900 m2 equipped with solar panels, producing a daily output of 500 kW.



Three decks, a 25 meter pool, a spa helicopterpad a 100m2 with hammam, sauna, gym and massage room, a promenade of 130 meter, a music room, a dining room, a cinema, sun decks, suites, terraces, a lounge, a bibi . The luxury is at the rendez-vous.

The decks are connected by stairs but there is also an elevator.
The suite of the owner (ie ikke !!!!!):



With an area of 200m2 and completely covers the third deck. (This is the bedroom) The sea view is great and there is a private terrace of 25 meter long.

A sea of light.


The yacht has the shape of a horseshoe and has a roof so everything is bathed in a sea of light.

The spacious lounge.



On the lower deck are the common premises, such as lounge, piano bar and dining area .....

Dinning Room


The dining room opens onto the sea view.

Suites for the guests


For the guests, 5 suites with sea views (on the middendek). There is also a reading room equipped.





Crazy Emails for February 27, 2010

More Fun with Toyota

Kenya Road Sign

Can't believe the media hasn't picked up this one yet...


Cat on a Stick

this is from a reader's son who lives in St.Loius!
WOW !! HOW CONVENIENTLY CLOSE


Chutzpah


Chutzpah is a Yiddish word meaning gall, brazen nerve, effrontery, sheer guts plus arrogance; it's Yiddish and, as Leo Rosten writes, "no other word and no other language" can do it justice. This example is better than 1,000 words. Read the story below the picture and then you will understand.

THE ESSENCE OF CHUTZPAH...

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but never take a pretzel.

This went on for more than 3 years. The two of them never spoke. One day, as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him. Without blinking an eye she said:

"They're 35 cents now."

Water Drop at 2000 Frames per Second

The Buzzard, the Bat & the Bumblebee

THE BUZZARD:

If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

THE BAT:

The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

THE BUMBLEBEE:

A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom.. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.

PEOPLE:

In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up! That's the answer, the escape route and the solution to any problem! Just look up.

Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up!

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.

Better than paper towels

Better than paper towels and a lot less expensive...

COFFEE FILTERS

Who knew! And you can buy 1,000 at the Dollar Tree for almost nothing even the large ones.

1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.

2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome... Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.

3. Protect China by separating your good dishes with a coffee filter between each dish.

4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.

5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.

6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.

7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.

8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.

9. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.

10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.

11.. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.

12. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters..

13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them. It soaks out all the grease.

14.. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."

15. As a sewing backing. Use a filter as an easy-to-tear backing for embroidering or appliqueing soft fabrics.

16. Put baking soda into a coffee filter and insert into shoes or a closet to absorb or prevent odors.

17. Use them to strain soup stock and to tie fresh herbs in to put in soups and stews.

18. Use a coffee filter to prevent spilling when you add fluids to your car.

19. Use them as a spoon rest while cooking and clean up small counter spills.

20. Can use to hold dry ingredients when baking or when cutting a piece of fruit or veggies.. Saves on having extra bowls to wash.

21. Use them to wrap Christmas ornaments for storage.

22. Use them to remove fingernail polish when out of cotton balls.

23. Use them to sprout seeds.. Simply dampen the coffee filter, place seeds inside, fold it and place it into a plastic baggie until they sprout.

24. Use coffee filters as blotting paper for pressed flowers. Place the flowers between two coffee filters and put the coffee filters in phone book.

25. Use as a disposable "snack bowl" for popcorn, chips, etc.

OH YEAH THEY ARE GREAT TO USE IN YOUR COFFEE MAKERS TOO.

February 25, 2010

February 23, 2010

February 21, 2010

Shortarmguy Diary Entry for February 21, 2010


The Shortarmguy Family Skiing at Hyland Hills

February 21, 2010

Dinner Time


Why airplanes have pillows!

Awesome Visa Ad

Crazy Emails for February 21, 2010

Redneck Hedge Trimming

Whoever is Praying for Snow...

Iowa Weather Map

Bear Quintuplets

Black bears typically have two cubs; rarely, one or three. In 2007, in northern New Hampshire, a black bear Sow gave birth to five healthy young. There were two or three reports of sows with as many as 4 cubs, but five was, and is, very extraordinary. I learned of them shortly after they emerged from their den and set myself a goal of photographing all five cubs with their mom - no matter how much time and effort was involved. I knew the trail they followed on a fairly regular basis, usually shortly before dark. After spending nearly four hours a day, seven days a week, for more than six weeks, I had that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and photographed them. I used the equivalent of a very fast film speed on my digital camera. The print is properly focused and well exposed, with all six bears posing as if they were in a studio for a family portrait.


I stayed in touch with other people who saw the bears during the summer and into the fall hunting season. All six bears continued to thrive. As time for hibernation approached, I found still more folks who had seen them, and everything remained OK. I stayed away from the bears as I was concerned that they might become habituated to me, or to people in general, and treat them as `approachable friends'. This could easily become dangerous for both man and animal.

After Halloween, I received no further reports and could only hope the bears survived until they hibernated.

This spring, just before the snow disappeared, all six bears came out of their den and wandered all over the same familiar territory they trekked in the spring of 2007.

I saw them before mid-April and dreamed nightly of taking another family portrait, a highly improbable second once-in-a-lifetime photograph.

On 25 April 2008, I achieved my dream.
When something as magical as this happens between man and animal, Native Americans say, "We have walked together in the shadow of a rainbow". And so it is with humility and great pleasure that I share these exhilarating photos with you. Do pass them on!

Sincerely, Tom Sears.

PS. As of August 2008, the cubs are doing well but have gone their separate ways and there will not be another "family portrait".



Dedicated to all the Senior Citizens


"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, so that's why no one was at church today!"

Lady Gaga Before She Was Famous

  
I knew I’d seen her somewhere before.
I’d forgotten she’d hung out with Tom Hanks in Castaway.

White House Super Bowl Party

Now that's cold!



This message came from Stoney River Lodge, Alaska . The picture was taken on Jan 5th 2010. Minus 51 F

West Virginia Divorce

A West Virginia man was crying hysterically to his best friend about how his wife left. He was inconsolable, nothing his friend said seemed to help. The friend thought and thought, racking his brain to find the positive in his friend's divorce.

Finally he says:

C'mon John, think of the bright side--she'll always be your sister!

Redneck Medical Terms

Redneck Medical Terms


Benign - What you be, after you be eight.

Artery - The study of paintings

Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria

Barium - what doctors do when patients die

Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan - searching for kitty

Cauterize - made eye contact with her

Colic - a sheep dog

coma- a punctuation mark

D & C - Where Washington is

Dilate - to live long

Enema - Not a friend

Fester - quicker than someone else

Fibula - a small lie

Genital - a non-Jewish person

GI series - world series of military baseball

Hangnail - what you hang your coat on

Impotent - distinguished, well-known

Labor pain - getting hurt at work

medical staff - a doctor’s cane

Morbid - a higher offer

Nitrates - cheaper than day rates

Node - I knew it

Outpatient - a person who has fainted

Pap Smear - A fatherhood test

Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative - a letter carrier

Recovery room - place to do upholstery

Rectum - darn near killed him

Secretion - hiding something

Seizure - a Roman emperor

Tablet - a small table

Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport

Tumor - one plus one more

Urine - opposite of you’re out

Varicose - nearby / close by

February 19, 2010

Travesty at the Olympics!!

Did you hear on the radio that Lindsey Vonn lost her gold medal????

Turns out Obama is going downhill much faster than expected so they are awarding him the gold.

February 15, 2010