December 25, 2010

2010 Swank Family Christmas Letter

Happy Christmas!!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!  It's 10 below zero outside, the snow is piled as high as it's been in 20 years, the Metrodome has collapsed on our beloved Vikings, the To Do list is a mile long, and the stores are packed.  If only we had colonoscopies scheduled for the entire family this week, things would be just about perfect!

2010 was a pretty good year for us.  After months of requests from Sheri and years of hearing Bob Barker preach about it, Todd finally took himself to the urologist and got neutered.  Sheri volunteered to do it for him since she learned how to do it on the farm as a girl.  She thought it would save us some money.   He said Thanks, but No Thanks!  Ever since the surgery, he just likes to lie around the house all day and look angry at everyone.

Sheri didn’t get fixed like Todd did. Thankfully, she’s still fully functional.   All she does is work hard every day taking care of her three boys, her house, and fantasizes about what life would be like had she married a Real Man.

Luke and Avery started middle school this year so we figured it was finally time to have the conversation about the birds and the bees.  It ended up being a classic moment in the Swank family history.  Everything was going fine until dad started using analogies like “Tadpole Racetrack” and then all Heck broke loose.  We’re hoping they got the gist of it.

We’ve kept busy doing things like basketball, band (Luke plays percussion and Avery the trombone), ski club, and Boy Scouts.  That last one has been quite challenging for us since we’ve done things like selling Christmas trees in 10 degree weather and went on a 20 mile canoe ride down the Namekagon River.  Families with little arms don’t normally go on 20 mile canoe rides, but we figured we’d give it a try when many of the other Scout leaders told us how easy it was.  They lied.

We’ve tried to stay out of the hospital and have done pretty good the past few years.  But Luke decided he wanted another surgery, so he developed a hernia for the second time in his life.  He had one corrected when he was very little, but apparently it’s possible to get them again!  We noticed it when some Elephantitis started appearing in his groinal region.  At first, dad told him that he may just want to keep it that way to impress his friends, but quickly changed his mind when he learned it wasn’t a healthy way to live.  So he went for another trip under the knife.  On a positive note, Luke had struggled with fears of getting surgery for a long time since he had so many when he was little.  He now seems to have conquered some of those which will come in handy should he need to get a pacemaker installed someday like his cardiologist is expecting.

Avery decided that he was sick of Luke getting all the attention from medical type people so he decided to let his vision lapse and start wearing glasses.  Luke was the only happy person when we found out about Avery’s eyes.  He said “About time Avery has to deal with something that I don’t!”  Then Avery beat the crap out of him in the middle of the doctor’s office.

Other than that, we’ve had a really great year!!

Our goal for 2011 is to figure out what we want to do with our lives when we grow up.

We hope you all achieve your dreams in 2011!

The Swank Family