March 27, 2011

HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of /Guns & Ammo Magazine
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:


Bubba,


Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.


Be back in an hour.


Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.


I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.


Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.


Better wait outside. Be right back.


Cooter