I planted some bird
seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed
it.
I had amnesia once ... or
twice.
I went to San Francisco .
I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I
didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to
prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world were a
logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses
sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was
gullible and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite
and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge
his car onto the freeway.
Experience is the thing
you have left when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about
egotists: They don't talk about other people.
My weight is perfect for
my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.
How can there be self-help
"groups?"
If swimming is so good for
your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both
feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants
off.
Is it me -- or do buffalo
wings taste like chicken?
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